I love what you're doing to create queer community. I've been out as a lesbian for three decades but I'm still struggling to find it and I live in a major city. It feels like it's conditional upon performance of so many things that go against the grain of who I am - the sensory overload of social environments for a start. What you say about listening to our nervous systems and acknowledging what we hear as a natural response to what we are dealing with resonates strongly as I try to heal from so many years of trying to override it.
Hi Justine, thank you so much for your comment and for sharing these reflections. I really resonate with your shares and I'm sorry that you're also struggling to find community. It really is hard when so many queer events feel just not accessible to me due to things like sensory overload, social/communication needs... I've been trying to explore how my autistic needs *and* queer needs can both get met. But still very much exploring what that will look like! Something that has helped me personally is to make queer autistic friends one on one.
I'm really glad to hear that what I shared about our nervous systems and our responses felt supportive to you :)
Thank you Tiffany, I also find that those one-on-one experiences are the best way to nurture connection. It's a different kind of belonging than being part of a mob.
This speaks to me on so many levels as an ND woman beginning to claim a queer identity even though it's still scary. I resonate so much with the pieces around country living - the healing, soothing peace and beauty and the tribal costs. I've recently been part of starting up an open relating/ polyamorous local chat group and it's felt so important as part of connecting more with those who are like me, especially when mostly I'm having to translate myself for those who are more in the mainstream.
I also am starting to listen to the wisdom of my 4 F responses to things like not feeling safe at home, with a hostile live in landlady (fortunately i'm moving out soon). My system knew it was unsafe before my conscious mind did. Thank you for your writing and I will look into your offerings.
Hi Morgana, thank you so much for sharing all of this with me (and anyone reading your comment.) I'm glad to hear that this piece spoke to you and yes, really feeling you on the both/and of country living being so soothing to our ND needs but challenging for the queer needs. Also how great that you're part of starting an open relating/poly local chat group! I can imagine that having that space must be so supportive.
Ohh, feeling unsafe in our environment (in your case, your home) has such a big impact. I'm so sorry you've had that experience and I'm glad to hear that you're moving out soon. Our nervous system can be so so wise. You are very welcome and please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about any of my offerings (either via email or DMs.)
You are very welcome! I did see your form submission-thank you! I'll reach out next week to confirm the class (and send Zoom link) once I see how many people sign up :) Looking forward to connecting in the free class.
Hi Willow, I'm so glad to hear that you resonated with this newsletter post-thank you for sharing all of this with me! It's so interesting to be both queer and neurodivergent-like I know my autistic self LOVES living in the rural countryside but my queer self is like "but where is my queer community?" I'm sorry to hear that you have to mask in the rural area that you live in-that sounds really hard. We did have a lovely community class! I'd love to do another class sometime so maybe you can join one at a later date. Sending lots of queer and autistic care your way :)
I love what you're doing to create queer community. I've been out as a lesbian for three decades but I'm still struggling to find it and I live in a major city. It feels like it's conditional upon performance of so many things that go against the grain of who I am - the sensory overload of social environments for a start. What you say about listening to our nervous systems and acknowledging what we hear as a natural response to what we are dealing with resonates strongly as I try to heal from so many years of trying to override it.
Hi Justine, thank you so much for your comment and for sharing these reflections. I really resonate with your shares and I'm sorry that you're also struggling to find community. It really is hard when so many queer events feel just not accessible to me due to things like sensory overload, social/communication needs... I've been trying to explore how my autistic needs *and* queer needs can both get met. But still very much exploring what that will look like! Something that has helped me personally is to make queer autistic friends one on one.
I'm really glad to hear that what I shared about our nervous systems and our responses felt supportive to you :)
Thank you Tiffany, I also find that those one-on-one experiences are the best way to nurture connection. It's a different kind of belonging than being part of a mob.
This speaks to me on so many levels as an ND woman beginning to claim a queer identity even though it's still scary. I resonate so much with the pieces around country living - the healing, soothing peace and beauty and the tribal costs. I've recently been part of starting up an open relating/ polyamorous local chat group and it's felt so important as part of connecting more with those who are like me, especially when mostly I'm having to translate myself for those who are more in the mainstream.
I also am starting to listen to the wisdom of my 4 F responses to things like not feeling safe at home, with a hostile live in landlady (fortunately i'm moving out soon). My system knew it was unsafe before my conscious mind did. Thank you for your writing and I will look into your offerings.
Hi Morgana, thank you so much for sharing all of this with me (and anyone reading your comment.) I'm glad to hear that this piece spoke to you and yes, really feeling you on the both/and of country living being so soothing to our ND needs but challenging for the queer needs. Also how great that you're part of starting an open relating/poly local chat group! I can imagine that having that space must be so supportive.
Ohh, feeling unsafe in our environment (in your case, your home) has such a big impact. I'm so sorry you've had that experience and I'm glad to hear that you're moving out soon. Our nervous system can be so so wise. You are very welcome and please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about any of my offerings (either via email or DMs.)
Thanks so much for this lovely reply :) I've applied for the free workshop/session to start.
You are very welcome! I did see your form submission-thank you! I'll reach out next week to confirm the class (and send Zoom link) once I see how many people sign up :) Looking forward to connecting in the free class.
Hi Willow, I'm so glad to hear that you resonated with this newsletter post-thank you for sharing all of this with me! It's so interesting to be both queer and neurodivergent-like I know my autistic self LOVES living in the rural countryside but my queer self is like "but where is my queer community?" I'm sorry to hear that you have to mask in the rural area that you live in-that sounds really hard. We did have a lovely community class! I'd love to do another class sometime so maybe you can join one at a later date. Sending lots of queer and autistic care your way :)